Sleeping over with a friend can be great fun. You can spend time together without worrying about being picked up. You can also take a little break from your life at home. However, your parents may not always allow you to a sleepover with friends. This can thwart your plans, especially if your parents generally don’t allow much. If you show that you can be trusted and negotiate a deal with your parents, you can change their minds and sleepover with your boyfriend.
Table of Contents
- 1 Win your trust
- 2 Convince your parents
- 2.1 First, make sure your parents are in a good mood.
- 2.2 Ask the question
- 2.3 Tell them all the details.
- 2.4 Tell them it’s healthy to have a sleepover with friends.
- 2.5 Ask what their biggest concern is.
- 2.6 Leave contact details.
- 2.7 Suggest that the overnight stay takes place at your home.
- 2.8 Ask to stay the night if you are already there.
- 2.9 Agree on a time to be dropped off and picked up.
- 3 Sleep responsibly
- 4 Tips
- 5 Warnings
Win your trust
Show a sense of responsibility in everyday life.
Being responsible means you do things that need to be done. In addition, you are honest and reliable. This influences whether your parents will allow you to stay overnight or not. If you want your parents to treat you like an adult, then act like one. That doesn’t work overnight. Just because you’re acting mature for a day doesn’t mean your parents will allow you the sleepover.
Plan sleepovers wisely.
Whether you have your parents’ trust or not, their permission often depends on the circumstances of the sleepover. If it’s school the next day, your parents are more likely not to allow it. You have better chances during the summer holidays. If you want to increase your chances of getting permission, you should pick a night after which nothing important happens the next day. It’s harder to get your parents’ permission when girls and boys stay there. It’s unsettling for parents when girls and boys sleepover somewhere together, and there may be stricter rules depending on your parents’ values. It also depends on how many people stay there. Some parents prefer small slumber parties to big ones.
Talk openly with your parents.
You don’t gain your parents’ trust overnight. If you have misused it, it is difficult and takes a long time to get it back. In order for your parents to trust you, you should talk to them every day. Tell them everything that happens in your life. This should become a normal thing between you two. It increases your chances of getting your parents’ permission. Trust is not a one-way street. If you want to gain your parents’ trust, then you should trust them as well. You can show your parents that you trust them by listening to their advice.
Do your homework and household chores.
In the adult world, work comes first, then play. In your case, that means showing that you deserve to go out and be given freedoms by always getting your homework and chores done. If there is something that needs doing, do it before you ask. Don’t give your parents the opportunity to hold you up to an unfinished business if you want to .
Convince your parents
First, make sure your parents are in a good mood.
As unfair as it may seem, your parents’ permission also depends on the mood they’re in when you ask. If they’re already upset about something before you ask, they’ll almost certainly say no. That’s because they don’t want to put themselves under any additional stress right now. See if you can help your parents with something before you ask. They’ll be in a better mood this way and you’ve shown that you’re responsible.
Ask the question
Depending on how your relationship with your parents is, asking them out can be stressful, but you need to take it easy. Most importantly, ask in a tone that doesn’t suggest it’s going to turn into an argument. If you approach it with a pessimistic attitude, chances are your parents won’t let you. It may help if you provide some additional details before asking. This allows you to avoid a quick “no”. For example, say, “My friend’s birthday is tomorrow and he wanted to celebrate with a pizza slumber party. Would it be okay if I spent the night there tomorrow?” Sit next to her if you ask. This is a very useful trick because it will not make your parents feel pressured into making a decision. If possible, ask the question a few days in advance. Parents usually respond more positively to timely questions than to last-minute plans.
Tell them all the details.
If parents are nervous about their child staying somewhere else, they’ll be relieved if you tell them all the details. Tell them your plans and everything they want to know. This helps. Being honest and direct will increase your chances of getting her permission. For example, tell your parents: The place where you are going to sleep Whether you leave your friend’s house during the evening Whether your parents are supervising you. This is important. Will anyone else be home? This includes your friend’s siblings or other relatives. What is your friend’s family situation?
Tell them it’s healthy to have a sleepover with friends.
Even if you just want to sleep over with your friend for fun, there are many other benefits to having kids sleepover with friends. Listing them to your parents will put them at ease and they’ll think your suggestion is a good thing. Use these arguments when you’re having a hard time convincing your parents: Sleepovers teach children new social skills. You have to adapt flexibly to a new environment. You’ll get a fresh look at another family during the overnight stay. You don’t want this to sound like you’re trying to escape your own family. A child staying elsewhere gives their parents a chance to relax. Overnight stays can be a nice reward now and then.
Ask what their biggest concern is.
If you’re having trouble convincing your parents, steer the conversation with them towards finding a solution. Ask about the biggest issue that is bothering her. Question how to solve it. Focus on finding a solution instead of getting angry. Ask calmly and directly. For example, say something like, “I understand that you’re concerned that I want to stay overnight. What exactly is bothering you? Maybe we can fix this.”
Leave contact details.
Contact details are important for you, but also for your parents. Your parents definitely want to be able to reach you. Even if they never call, having your friend’s number gives them peace of mind because they might call if they didn’t hear from you. Give your parents your friend’s landline number or their parent’s cell phone numbers. Don’t give your parents wrong numbers. Even if they don’t notice this time, you’re betraying their trust and they won’t let you stay anywhere in the future.
Suggest that the overnight stay takes place at your home.
Parents often feel helpless when their child is sleeping elsewhere. If the overnight stay is at your place, your parents are more likely to allow it. It lets you spend time with a friend and gives your parents a sense of control. Some parents don’t want friends sleeping over, so this isn’t a foolproof plan.
Ask to stay the night if you are already there.
It can be risky to ask about an overnight stay once you’re there, but sometimes spontaneous changes of plans work. If you want to be even more sophisticated, ask if you can have dinner at your friend’s house, as it’s usually easier to get permission for that. After dinner you can relax and you can call your parents to ask them. Sometimes it’s easier to get your parents’ permission for something that’s already happening. If you decide to go this route, be prepared to be disappointed. Some parents don’t like it when you try to pitch them such short-term plans. Take your sleeping things with you just in case. For this to work, your parents should already know the family you’re sleeping with well. It also helps if you’ve already stayed there.
Agree on a time to be dropped off and picked up.
Parents like fixed plans. Tell them roughly when you’ll be back. So they can relax for a while. Having solid plans is good because they are good for dealing with stress and grief. But also be flexible about the time at which you will be picked up. Many adults have a lot on their plate during the day, so you should plan when they will pick you up the next day.
Stick to plans.
If you say you’re going to do something and your parents agree, then do it. If you say you’re going to do one thing, but then do something completely different, you risk losing her trust. If you prove to your parents that you stick to your plans, they will see you as a responsible person and trust you more.
Introduce your parents to your friend’s.
Your parents’ decision will also depend in part on how they feel about the friend you’re staying with. Their biggest concern is usually your safety. They want to be sure that you are well taken care of. This is where your friend’s parents come into play. If your parents can put a face to the name, they’ll be more reassured when you ask for sleepover permission.
Introduce your boyfriend to your parents.
If your parents don’t know your boyfriend yet, you should show them the face that goes with his name. If you introduce him, your parents will see that your friend isn’t nearly as bad as they feared. Even rebellious friends are usually accommodating around your parents. Your parents probably want to gauge the danger your friend could put you in. If your boyfriend is known for being rebellious and irresponsible, then you’ll have a hard time convincing your parents that you want to sleep with him.
Call your parents if you want to be picked up.
If you stay somewhere else, you have to take responsibility for yourself. This also means that you leave when you no longer want to stay. Even if it’s late, your parents will probably be glad you called them instead of going through something uncomfortable. It shows them that they can trust you to confide in them in an uncomfortable situation. Call your parents if you feel ill, unwell, or don’t want to stay for any other reason.
Tell your parents how the night was.
Keeping them up to date on everything makes them feel more relaxed. Tell a bit about how the overnight stay was when you are picked up or when you come home. What have you done? Was it fun? How was it being with your boyfriend’s family? All of this shows your parents that the sleepover was a healthy decision. Remember: You don’t just want them to say yes this time. You still want to sleep with friends in the future. Make it a positive experience for everyone so that your parents will allow you to stay overnight in the future.
Parents want to feel in control. When you sleep away, you take that control away from them. Make your parents feel like they still have something to say while you’re gone. Mention your friends once or twice before asking for a sleepover. For example, say, “‘So and so’ and I spent lunch together today.” or “I’m really good with ‘so and so’.” Say that you hope you spend more time together because he’s really nice. A few days later, ask if he can come to you or you can go to him.
Don’t sneak out of the house without your parents’ permission. It will make your situation worse and the overnight stay is not worth it. Also, it worsens your relationship with your parents and they don’t trust you for a while. You won’t be staying overnight anywhere anytime soon. Your parents don’t always allow you everything, no matter how hard you try. It’s a shame, but you can always try later.