Who doesn’t want to fall in love? Almost everyone wants that. That desire is as common as a hashtag in a Kardashian tweet. If you’re attracted to a girl and absolutely want her to fall in love with you too, there are a few ways to pique her interest. In order for a girl to fall in love with you, you need to create attraction both verbally and non-verbally. Also, you need to show her your endearing qualities and take the time to get to know her. Most of all, be yourself and respect her for who she is.
Table of Contents
- 1 Understand attraction
- 1.1 Understand how physical attraction works.
- 1.2 Take care of your body
- 1.3 Practice personal hygiene to be successful.
- 1.4 Pay attention to body language.
- 1.5 Pay attention to an open body language.
- 1.6 Watch out for signs of attraction.
- 1.7 Watch her smile.
- 1.8 Show your own interest.
- 1.9 Take the first step.
- 1.10 Try a light touch if you feel like she’s inviting you.
- 2 Be amazing
- 3 Win your heart
- 4 Stay open
- 5 Treat her as an equal
- 5.1 Respect their thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
- 5.2 Always be genuine and honest with her and with yourself.
- 5.3 Be ready to listen and to talk.
- 5.4 Accept their individuality.
- 5.5 Help her to make her dreams come true.
- 5.6 Show dedication and commitment.
- 5.7 Understand that she has no obligation to fall in love with you.
- 6 Summary
Understand how physical attraction works.
Underneath all the feelings, thoughts, and hopes about love is our elemental biochemistry. We are programmed to love! Attraction is based on brain chemistry. A group of neurotransmitters, monoamines (dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin), create the feeling we know as an attraction. Dopamine is one of the “feel-good chemicals” in your brain. (Hence the term dope.) It’s also related to your brain’s motivation and reward systems. When you meet someone you’re attracted to, dopamine sends “reward chemicals” into your body that make you feel good. Norepinephrine, or norepinephrine (not to be confused with adrenaline), sends messages to your central nervous system. Norepinephrine is responsible for filtering out information that isn’t as interesting as the pretty girl in front of you. Serotonin regulates many of your bodily functions, including sexual behavior and body temperature. When you’re very attracted to someone, serotonin lowers your body temperature, which slightly increases your skin’s electrical conductivity. That’s why love can literally make our skin tingle. In fact, experts say attraction stimulates the same chemicals in our brains as addiction, such as dopamine and oxytocin. If a girl isn’t into you, it’s not you: it’s just the chemicals in each other’s brains. A researcher at Rutgers University claims that the brain decides in less than a second whether it finds someone attractive or not. You may survive or cope with that split-second first impression—or you may not. If not, then don’t take it personally. One cannot control spontaneous impulses. What is judged may not say anything bad about you at all. For example, some women are attracted to risk-taking men, while others prefer the more cautious type. There’s nothing wrong with being one or the other. It can seem like understanding how attraction works take away some of the mystery and magic of this human emotion. However, it also clarifies that love and attraction are an integral part of who we are. And this is happening on a level that isn’t particularly rational. And sometimes the chemistry really is literally right or wrong.
Take care of your body
Women are generally attracted to men or women who show they can take care of themselves. This includes good personal hygiene and an overall healthy appearance. Keeping your body fit and healthy is a key evolutionary sign of your “reproductive ability” — basically a sign that your genes are strong and healthy, too. By taking good care of yourself and keeping yourself healthy, you display confidence and healthy self-esteem that most people find attractive. That doesn’t mean you should overdo it and become a marathon runner or bodybuilder. However, you may want to consider getting a gym membership or joining an Ultimate Frisbee team. This way you can feel healthier and more self-confident and therefore more attractive. Make the best of yourself and be true to yourself. Remember that you don’t have to be the best looking to look good.
Practice personal hygiene to be successful.
Your appearance and your demeanor is the crucial first impression. He is also usually the strongest. You can have a great online profile and chat wonderfully: but if you meet the girl in real life for the first time and smell bad and wear unflattering clothes, it leaves a stronger impression than any chat room conversation. Prevent unpleasant rumors. In most industrialized nations, women are put off by strong body odors. Someone who doesn’t shower regularly doesn’t use deodorant, or wears smelly clothes won’t have any success with them. care for your body It’s entirely possible to find love if you’re not perfect: whether you’re overweight, have a rash, or are going bald. Making the most of your appearance makes you instantly more attractive and also makes you feel more confident. Wear attractive clothes. Every society has a sense of what kind of clothing is attractive and exudes potency, self-confidence and masculinity. If your clothes look unattractive and off-putting or really weird, it shows that there is something wrong with whoever is wearing them.
Pay attention to body language.
Body language can be either conscious (like waving at someone) or unconscious (like reddening your lips or dilating your pupils). Humans convey a variety of messages through body language. Including the language of attraction. Most body language signs that involve physical attraction convey some basic messages: I am available: A suitable partner is missing and he/she looks confident and emotionally balanced. I’m interested: When someone says hello, a friendly and potentially flirty conversation begins. I am harmless: there are no aggressive or “odd” behaviors. I am fertile: An overall healthy, youthful and vibrant appearance. I’m outgoing: The body language looks open and relaxed.
Pay attention to an open body language.
Body language cues that say “I’m available” and “I’m outgoing” suggest that the other person is amenable to your advances. Look for things like: Smiling Eye contact with you Looking up (instead of staying on the phone etc.) Sitting or standing relaxed with your arms and legs uncrossed. Her feet point your way when you’re talking. She glances at you from afar, looks away for a while, and then back at you—not staring at you.
Watch out for signs of attraction.
Parts of body language are unconscious and show that we are attracted to someone. Others express themselves more consciously. By looking for these signs, you can find out if your feelings for the girl are mutual. Flushed cheeks Lips flushed or fuller Dilated pupils The person is removing an “obstacle” between you – for example, they are moving a bag that was between you. A sudden pounding heart or faster breathing She licks her lips She subliminally mimics your body language. For example, if you shift your weight from one leg to the other, moments later she will do the same. Fleeting touches. For example, light, brief touches on your arm, wrist, or knee. Remember: None of these behaviors clearly indicate that she is attracted to you. While these are good signs, don’t jump to conclusions. The girl with the red cheeks and dilated pupils who puts her bag out of the way for you on the bus might be just being polite and just came from the optometrist! Never make assumptions about her sexuality. You can come across as rude and ruin your chances of befriending her.
Watch her smile.
A real smile from a woman can be a signal that she wants to be more attractive to you. (Or it could just be a sign that she’s being friendly, so pay attention to other body language cues as well.) Look at what facial muscles she’s moving to get a sense of whether it’s real or not . A genuine smile, also known as a Duchenne smile, uses the muscles around the eyes as well as those around the mouth. A fake smile usually only moves the muscles around the mouth. These smiles look forced or empty. That’s why Heidi Klum always reminds her models to “smile with her eyes.”
Show your own interest.
Once you’ve determined whether or not you stand a chance, there are a few things you can do with your own body language to show the girl that you’re interested in her. Make eye contact and smile. get closer to her Sit at a nearer table in the café, or grab a napkin if it’s by the milk and sugar. This can help her pick up your pheromones, which help the signal attraction. Tilt your head when speaking to or looking at her. Head tilt is a sign of interest.
Take the first step.
You can start the conversation with a hook (a “pick-up line”). Even if pick-up lines don’t have the best reputation, there’s no shame in using one of these opening phrases. Studies show that there are three different types: Direct address. She’s honest and straight to the point, e.g. “I think you’re really pretty” or “I’m a bit shy but I’d like to talk to you.” In general, men prefer these types of opening sentences when others are addressing them. The innocuous salutation. She starts a conversation without getting straight to the point, e.g. “What do you think of this store?” or “Are you often here?”. In general, women prefer these types of opening sentences when others are addressing them. The witty/frivolous form of address. Humor plays a role here, but such pick-up lines are often cheesy or even obnoxious, such as “Do you prefer your balls stirred or fertilized?” Sometimes they’re good for “breaking the ice.” But there’s also the risk of coming across as sleazy, desperate, or weird. Both men and women rate this as the least attractive option. If you’re trying to start a conversation with a girl, using a casual form of address is your best option. Studies have also shown that honest and pleasant first conversations lead to long-term relationships. On the other hand, strategies that use manipulation or dishonesty (like the witty/frivolous come-on) end up in short-term relationships.
Try a light touch if you feel like she’s inviting you.
Touching is a great way to show physical attraction. After you’ve talked for a while and the girl seems interested in you, you can gently stroke her arm or touch her hand. Don’t touch her unless she’s making it very clear that she’s into you. Even then, you should approach it cautiously. It’s usually a good idea to wait until she initiates some sort of touch. If the girl reacts negatively to your touch, apologize and stop trying for a while. By showing respect and giving her space, you may be able to regain her goodwill. Certainly not by taking an overly aggressive approach. Make sure your touches are culturally appropriate. What is appropriate in Germany may not be accepted in Saudi Arabia. And what might be considered normal in a Berlin university is not welcomed in an Austrian monastery school. If you are unsure, ask for physical touch! For example, you can offer her your hand for a friendly handshake. Or ask, “May I give you a hug?”, or “Would you like some help with the sunscreen on your back?” This allows for physical touches in a way that respects their boundaries—and you’re direct about it. Don’t be too keen on touching the girl. You don’t have to touch her in the early stages of flirting. If you try too hard or insist too hard, it can backfire and make a bad impression. The right moment for touch will often “just happen”. When the connection and attraction is there, a real opportunity develops naturally. You both reach for the milk at the same time in the cafeteria, or she puts her hand on yours in the cinema or something like that.
Live your life.
Who wants to be in a serious relationship with someone who just sits at home all day? If you want her to fall in love with you, get out there and do things that make you seem interesting and confident. Do what makes you happy, fill your life with new experiences, and pursue your dreams. Many are more interested in another person when they appear to be already leading a full, happy life themselves. Always wanted to create your own video game? Then try it! write your own book ? Then let’s go! Do you want to become a caver? You can do it! Pursue your dreams and you will find that girls are drawn to your passion and determination. Continuing to pursue your own interests when in a relationship keeps you from becoming “dependent” on each other. Such relationships arise when one partner feels they cannot be complete or happy without the other. Such relationships are unhealthy. You can avoid them if you stay true to yourself. It also attracts people who are also true to themselves.
Show her your endearing qualities.
People don’t just choose who to fall in love with. They fall in love because the people involved have endearing qualities. Love often develops over time. So your job is to show the girl that you are worth being around. Let your personality shine through and give her a chance to see who you really are and what you have to offer. Apparently, traits like humor, kindness, and honesty make you even more physically attractive! Other qualities that can affect how attractive you are perceived include respect, honesty, hard work, and intelligence. According to study results, women tend to prefer personality and inner values such as friendliness and intelligence to physical characteristics.
Have a sense of humor. It’s no secret that girls love people who are funny and can tell jokes. Even science says so! Try out jokes on your friends to see which ones go down well and which don’t. Being alone with a girl and making a joke can be a good way to break the ice between you. Remember, if you’re not a good joke teller, you can still have a good sense of humor – you just have to enjoy laughing and being around people who are funny. Having a good audience is just as important as being funny yourself. Bitter or sarcastic humor is not a good idea. Try positive, slightly self-deprecating humor. For example, if you’re at a coffee shop together, you could say, “I’ve heard there are two types of people: coffee people and sad people. What do you think?”
One of the most important aspects that both boys and girls look for when choosing a partner is “playfulness”. So you should be playful because she probably finds that attractive. how can you be playful For example, by making something boring like learning interesting and funny by making a song out of your math problem and singing the text of the problem. Don’t take everything so seriously. But most of all, you should be able to laugh at yourself. If you’re having fun, being easygoing, and even making fun of yourself, you’re signaling to the girl that you’re not uptight or aggressive. This also makes everyone around you less self-conscious, making your presence generally more comfortable.
In order for someone to really fall in love with you, you have to believe in yourself that you are worthy of being loved. Most girls don’t find those who constantly put themselves down very attractive. So be confident, but not arrogant. Be aware of what you are good at. Don’t brag about it or play it off, but let it flow into your daily routine and don’t be afraid to let it shine through every now and then. The difference between genuine confidence and arrogance is how you feel about yourself. Real confidence means that you know who you are and are content and happy with it. Arrogance often stems from a need to compare yourself to others or put others down to make yourself feel better. Really confident boys and girls don’t have to put anyone down or act like idiots. You already know they’re cool. If you feel the need to smack yourself, make sure you pass it off as a joke. Laugh at your mistakes, the stupid things you do, and the things you don’t like about yourself. “Seriously, you do NOT want to go dancing with me. I’m a terrible dancer. A danger to myself and others. It’s best for everyone if I stay out of it.”
Win your heart
Get to know her
Getting to know her is more than just memorizing her birthday and place of birth. Spend time with her, build trust, and learn to appreciate the things about her that she doesn’t often show. Find out about her fear of water (and why she’s scared) or her most embarrassing moment (and help her laugh about it). Learn to understand how she thinks and what she believes in. This will help you love her as a whole person. And it will mean more to her than you can imagine. A good place to start would be to ask her open-ended questions. Social psychologist Arthur Aron has made headlines with his list of 36 questions that create intimacy between people. They are creative, open and more interesting than the question about their favorite film. For example, you could try asking, “Would you like to be famous? In which way?” or “What would be a perfect day for you?” This not only gives you the opportunity to get to know them better. It also lets her know that you think she’s smart and that you take her opinions seriously.
EXPERT COUNCIL Matchmaker and Dating Expert Maria Avgitidis is the Executive Director and Matchmaker at Agape Match, a New York City-based dating agency. For more than a decade, she has combined four generations of matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search methods to ensure her professional clientele is introduced to their ultimate mate. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice and Thrillist. Maria Avgitidis Matchmaker and Dating Expert How do you meet a girl you like? It’s best to just talk to her. Break the ice by asking her what her plans are for the weekend or commenting on why you’re attending the same social event. If she opens up and continues the conversation, she might be interested in getting to know you, too.
Find out what she likes to do.
And then do that to her. Doing something you know she likes has an added benefit: it makes her feel good and comfortable doing it. If she’s comfortable when you’re on a date, she’s more likely to approach you, hold your hand, or even kiss you. Whether she enjoys surfing, horseback riding, shopping, or baking, it’s a good idea to do something with her that she enjoys doing. Ask a friend of hers what she likes to do in her free time. This way she will know that you took the time to get to know her better and that you are willing to do anything to make her happy.
Take her out on great dates.
Doing something with her that she likes doesn’t have to be a date. But if you want your love to grow, sooner or later you should ask her out. When you’re ready for this step, try a familiar place like a movie theater, coffee shop, or something similar. You could also try an amusement park or a haunted house. Studies show that on a date, excitement or a sense of danger helps release chemicals in the brain that create a closer bond between two people. Consider whether you want to call your meeting a “date” or “going out together.” If you’ve pretty much won the girl over already, you should say you’re dating so you’re both on the same page. If that’s not the case, though, it’s probably best to take things slow and get her as a friend first before it becomes a romantic relationship. Sometimes a girl doesn’t want to start a romantic relationship unless she’s sure that you two are good friends.
Make your intentions clear.
You probably shouldn’t ask her to be your girlfriend on the first date, and maybe not even after the first few dates. However, at some point you have to make it clear that you have a romantic interest in her. If you wait too long, there is a risk that she will only see you as a friend. Uncertainty won’t help you. You can make it clear to signal your existing interest. For example, if you’ve had a good time together, don’t end the conversation without a clear statement. Say something like, “I had a great night tonight. Would it be okay if I call you tomorrow?”
Avoid overdoing it in the beginning.
Sometimes there’s a temptation to tell a girl what a catch you are or how much you like her. But that’s not a good idea for two reasons: First, it means you’ll share a lot about yourself and spend less time listening to her. Second, it means you’re moving things too quickly. Your first few dates aren’t the right time to taunt your boss about how awful your ex was. This kind of self-disclosure can make you seem bitter, indiscreet, and lack a good sense of personal boundaries. You don’t have to make a secret of yourself, but start with what you like and don’t like. Let the conversation flow naturally. If she is interested in you, she will ask you questions. Just make sure there is a good balance in your respective parts of the conversation.
Give her space.
That doesn’t mean you should be fluffy. You should just let her take control of what happens next. Bullying her and forcing her into a relationship will do the opposite of what you hope. Show her that you respect her life away from you. If you let a girl breathe, maybe she will love you on her own. If you give her space, you should avoid being too distant. Keep calling her regularly and showing her that you’re interested. If you’re shy, don’t give her too much space or she might think you’re not interested. You have to get out of your cave a bit if you want to get her attention. If you just went on a date with her and everything went really well, tell her (if it’s a Friday) that you’ll call her before the weekend is over. Leave her Saturday to herself and give her a call on Sunday to tell her you had a great time with her and would like to do something with her again soon – maybe next weekend. This would also be a good opportunity to ask her to accompany you to some kind of party or something. Allowing yourself space is a sign of self-confidence. You’re like, “I had a great time with you and I like you, but I’m not so desperate that I’m trying my best.” Girls and boys are attracted to those who are cool, calm, don’t rush things, and aren’t desperate.
Don’t judge them.
Every woman is an individual with her own qualities, just like you are. Be careful not to fall into a frame of mind where you come to negative conclusions about them. It’s not a new car where you can freely choose between different equipment. You have to decide whether the quirk, personality, or any other thing about her is something you can handle or not. But don’t try to make them into something you want. If you decide that you can live with their quirks, stick to that decision. Don’t try to change them. Don’t criticize them or pick on their quirks. Accept her as she is. Her personality doesn’t make her a bad person. If you decide it can’t work that way, you don’t have to be mean to her about it.
Don’t expect her to change.
On the contrary, if you eliminate most of your “expectations” of her, you will likely become happier in your relationship. Many times we expect impossible things from other people, which makes us worried and unhappy when we don’t get them. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have certain expectations or allow yourself to be mistreated. It’s perfectly okay to expect the other person to show up when it’s prearranged (unless something urgent comes up), to treat you with kindness and respect, and to show compassion and kindness to others. However, if you expect your girl to read your every wish from your lips, you will be disappointed. Nobody is a mind reader. In addition, personal characteristics are usually largely fixed. If your girl is always late and you’ve talked to her about how it bothers you but nothing changes, then you can expect the problem to never go away either. You have to decide if that’s too big a problem for you, or you let her be herself (with all her imperfections like being late). But you can’t wait for her to change.
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t get too attached to a certain girl falling in love with you. Don’t try to “make love” to a girl who just doesn’t have feelings for you. Despair is never attractive. Meet other girls and give love new chances. Go to school events and meetings. Go to those from other schools too if someone invites you. You never know when you’ll meet the one who takes your breath away. Sometimes you find love just when you stop looking for it. The universe works in strange ways sometimes. Especially if you’ve been trying hard lately or you think you’re out of strength. It’s not bad to let the search rest for once. It sounds wrong and it’s frustrating, but it works: if you stop looking, the girls usually find you. Be adventurous. Maybe all the girls you know already have boyfriends. Or maybe you’re not interested in them. Many today find their love outside of their immediate circle of acquaintances. If you are old enough, you can try online dating. Travel when you can. When you’re looking for the girl of your dreams, it helps to keep an open mind and embrace whatever adventures life throws at you.
Treat her as an equal
Respect their thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
Try to see things from their point of view. Show her that you value her views, even if you don’t agree with them. It can help to ask her about these things instead of just guessing. When she talks to you about her thoughts or feelings, listen to her. If you have trouble seeing things from their point of view, use “I” statements to ask for clarifications: “I really want to understand what you mean, but I just don’t get it. Could you explain to me what you’re feeling right now?”
Always be genuine and honest with her and with yourself.
Honesty builds trust, but once trust is broken it never comes back. From that moment on, your every word will be questioned. Be yourself and be honest. Show sincere intentions. Be honest and open about your plans, wants, and needs. If she doesn’t agree with them, at least you know where to start to make changes to get closer and to get to know each other better. Being open and honest doesn’t mean being manipulated. For example, you don’t have to show anyone your messages or emails to “prove” that you can be trusted. You don’t have to report on where you are every minute. Such controlling behavior does not belong in a healthy relationship.
Be ready to listen and to talk.
The most important thing is to listen patiently and actively. The understanding you gain will help you talk to her in a sensitive and helpful way. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel taken seriously and respected. listen to what she says Don’t think about what to answer while she’s still talking. Ask her to clarify if you don’t understand something. You could say something like, “I’m not sure I understood you correctly. I understood it like this _____. Do you mean that?” These clarifications also prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Avoid passive-aggressive behavior. Passive-aggressive behavior is when your girlfriend asks you if something is wrong and you say, “No, why should anything be wrong?” when you’re actually upset. It’s a way of expressing irritation or hurt feelings without addressing them directly. This can destroy communication in a relationship. Be open and honest about your feelings, but remain respectful. Use “I” phrases like “I feel hurt because you didn’t call me on Tuesday, even though you promised me you would” instead of “You forgot to call me and hurt my feelings.” “You” statements can make the other person defensive and unresponsive. Communication is not a one-way street. You should also feel like she’s listening to you and taking your needs seriously as well.
Accept their individuality.
Try to understand what makes them unique. Actively celebrate her uniqueness and help her track her most important activities that make her happy and content. It’s great when you find something you both like and can do together. Sometimes one of you two will have to make compromises. For example, you might want to watch an action movie while she wants to watch the latest Pixar movie (or vice versa). Take turns giving your partner space to make them happy.
Help her to make her dreams come true.
Just as you should give her freedom, you should help her achieve what she wants to achieve for herself. This can often mean letting her work on things she wants to work on (e.g. for school or to practice something) or doing things together with her. When she sees that you are someone who supports her in the things she wants to achieve in her life, she knows you are exactly the one she needs.
Show dedication and commitment.
Always be there for her, as a friend and as a confidante. Forgive her weaknesses quickly and work to bring out the best in her. Be just as open to her making you the best possible person you can be. Committed love is a partnership where you both bring out the best in each other. Stick to this standard when making her fall in love with you—and beyond.
Understand that she has no obligation to fall in love with you.
It’s called being sent into the “friend zone” when the feelings aren’t mutual. But remember that you can do everything right and it doesn’t have to mean that she falls in love with you. She is a person with free will. Not an item that can be won like in a video game.
Be witty and humorous, but not at the expense of other people. Be careful not to be too hasty. Pushing her to do something too quickly can give the wrong impression. You may absolutely want someone to fall in love with you. But remember that you are also using your head, not just your heart. Love is just the beginning of a healthy relationship. The rest depends on communication, compatibility and deployment. Treat her like someone special so she knows you really appreciate her. Don’t text her just for the sake of writing. You should have a reason. Instead of “Hey, how are you?” text her, “Hey! We should get some frozen yogurt, have lunch together, play a video game, etc.” You can’t have a relationship just over the phone. Take the time to get close to her and show interest in her interests. For example, take the time to read her favorite book or listen to her favorite music. Spend time with her and your friends. Show her that she can count on you when the need arises. Always be ready to give her advice. Keep in mind that you need to ask her questions and get answers from her. She should deal with you. Tell her interesting things. Smile and maintain eye contact during a conversation.